Are men really less emotional than women?

Over the past decade or so the effects of emotional expression on health, and the differences between men and women in this regard, have become more widely understood. An increasing body of research shows the importance of emotional expression on emotional well-being and, while the exact mechanism between emotional expression and health is not entirely clear, the link appears to exist. Men are traditionally thought of as being less emotional than women but the evidence points more towards a situation where men tend to show emotions that are bad for them and the people around them. Here is a quick overview of some of the research findings about men, their emotional expressions and their health.

Compared to Women:

-there is substantial evidence to show that men have more difficulty in expressing their emotions and exert greater controls over the expression of emotions.

-men spend more time ruminating over negative emotions.

-men share their emotions with far fewer.

-men express emotions with less intensity.

-men use less emotional language and fewer 'emotion' words.

-behavior seems less affected by expressions of emotion.

-men are more likely to under-report negative feelings.

-men are more willing to express emotions likely to be viewed as demonstrating power or control.

For example, pride, anger and jealousy.

The Differences Explained

Most theorists agree that biological differences between men and women cannot explain differences in emotional expression. In terms of the supposed lack of emotion in men a more plausible explanation is the number and extent of social experiences men encounter from childhood that inhibit emotional expression. It has been pointed out that men and women live in different worlds when it comes to emotional expression. From early childhood most boys are exposed to fewer emotion-oriented conversations and are not encouraged to express emotions verbally. Yet, for example, the expression of rage if personal possessions or status is threatened, is seen not only as typically male, but in some situations encouraged and admired. The point is that men appear to experience exactly the same emotions as women but their expression is often and typically very different.

Men's Health & Emotional Expression
A well known psychologist, James Pennebaker, has demonstrated that emotional expressions can benefit health by the simple device of keeping a diary. The diary provides a outlet for emotional expression and not only appears to have a positive emotional effect but improves immune function as well. In fact written emotional expression has been researched in terms of benefits to physical health, physiological functioning and daily living activities; in each case with positive findings. Could the simple act of keeping a diary be a useful compromise for men and bridge the gap between their inability to transmit, receive and manage emotional messages?

Language as passion

Language is magic.
Every day, we humans use symbols to translate our feelings, to convey information about the past and present, and to apply our designs to the body of creation. We call these symbols words, transmitting them to different locations in the brain (thinking), converting them to sounds and gestures (talking), even arranging them into the marks or bits of an alphabetic media (writing). Language is the essence of human expression and cultural heritage. And it is my truest love.

Language plays music in my head all day long and most of the night, a continuous background dreamy thing. I love the cadence, the inflections, the tones, and most especially the nuances found in both the precision and the imperfection of meaning. (Can there ever be a word that truly expresses riding a bicycle downhill?) I love that this bewitching ability to characterize our perceptions provides a channel for interacting with the substance of the world. We reveal ourselves through language. The world appears to us in the translation.

waxing poetic
Ah, then comes poetry. Poetry is a special language. Poets scramble the words until they are condensed, sensual, and figurative and soon enough imagined worlds, sometimes even counter-realities begin to appear. What happens then is a kind of tickling sensation as the poem starts leaning, pressing toward the portal that leads everywhere "else," places where time is altered in juxtaposing measures of beauty and pleasure, unease and discomfort. Within their fluttering framework poetic meanings are infinite, woven by you and into you and beyond you until wonder reveals what was always there and yet never announced.

Visual Mapping of Poetry
The biggest fear of my lifetime has been that poetry as seen from outside is both a pointless activity as well as a useless commodity. And yet today like every other day, my only real ambition is to listen to the quiet, notice the reflections, and waiting for the implausible, offer myself up as scribe. So I choose to be in the world today as poet and to embody the purpose elucidated by the late American poet Audre Lorde who wrote an essay entitled "Poetry is not a luxury." She defends that proposition thus:

"The quality of light by which we scrutinize our lives has direct bearing on the product which we live, and the changes which we hope to bring about through those lives. It is within this light that we form those ideas by which we pursue our magic and make it realized. . . . [I]t is through poetry that we give name to those ideas which are - until the poem - nameless and formless, . . . but already felt . . .If what we need to dream, to move our spirits most deeply and directly toward and through promise, is discounted as a luxury, then we give up the core - the fountain - of our power, . . . we give up the future of our worlds."

My purpose, at least part of it, is to wobble perception: mine, yours, ours. Your purpose, at least part of it, is to soften your focus and read more than once, each time more slowly. May we all enjoy the conscious plunge into co-creation.